Do you have a big shnoz?

Wear a gold chain necklace with a Star of David?

Have a lot of chest hair and are not afraid to show it?

If your physical appearance fits any of the above, you may not be welcome in the United Arab Emirates anymore.

Mahmoud al-Mabhouh was the self-professed murderer of two Israeli soldiers,  Ilan Sa’adon and Avi Sasportas, kidnapped and killed in two separate incidents in 1989.  More recently, Mabhouh was busying himself (allegedly) orchestrating missile shipments from the Iranian Revolutionary Guards to Hamas in Gaza, missiles which could reach major population centers in Israel.

On 20 January 2010, Mabhouh was found dead in his hotel room not far from the Dubai airport.  The Dubai police have accused the Mossad who, per their longstanding policy, do not confirm, deny, or comment on these type of allegations.

According to Haaretz, Dubai police chief Lt. Gen. Dahi Khalfan Tamim has decided the way to prevent such incidents in the future is to ban Israelis from the country altogether.

“We will not allow those who hold Israeli passports into the UAE no matter what other passport they have,” Tamim said.

As Tamim has noted, a number of Israelis are dual passport holders.  Now, how, pray tell, does Tamim plan to tell that someone arriving with a Russian, American, or French passport is also an Israeli citizen?

He [Tamim] did not explain what procedures would be used to identify the Israeli visitors, except that the police will “develop skills” to recognize Israelis by “physical features and the way they speak.”

Differentiating based upon accent an Israeli businessman from some of his counterparts from other countries, say France (“You Don’t Mess with the Zohan“, anyone?), might be difficult.  Tamim and his minions might be left to separating out Israelis by their “physical features”.  Luckily, Jews and observant, adult Muslim men have at least one thing in common.

I wonder what Tamim has planned…

Additional sources:
The Jerusalem Post, Editor’s Notes: Dissecting Dubai, 19 February 2010.
Hamas: Israel killed abductor of 2 IDF soldiers, 29 January 2010.